Wednesday, 21 June 2017

We will carve our place into time and space ~ summing up 1st year

I've been trying and putting off writing this post for ages now, I want to do it but it's a challenge. I'm not that good at articulating myself and there's so much to say! I still haven't quite grasped the fact that I've completed my first year at university, and I'm struggling to sum up how I feel about it all. Considering how much I wasn't looking forward to moving away and meeting new people, I think I can say I've had the best time of my life so far. Sometimes I think about how I nearly didn't go and I get a bit freaked out at everything that I would have missed. But at the same time, I know I couldn't have not gone and it seems like everything was leading up to this and I'm where I'm meant to be. I love my life in Falmouth, it's so much fun. I'm constantly thinking "I can't believe this is real", some moments seem like dreams, my journal is primarily a document of happy memories. I feel like the reason I went to Falmouth was not just to study, my course is good but definitely not the best thing about this past year. My course is my excuse to live in Falmouth but the relationships I've built, the experiences I've had, and the growth I've seen in myself are worth more that any degree. Part of me didn't want to come home for summer, but it's pretty great to be somewhere that makes it hard to say goodbye.

There were a lot of tears on the day I moved to Falmouth, and I cried the next couple of days too, I remember worrying that I'd never stop. It was just an overwhelming mixture of emotions. But it wasn't long before I began to find my feet as I made friends and learned my way around. At first I found my house very quiet as I'm used to life with three siblings, but I soon began to enjoy the many perks of solo living such as being able to play my music as loud as I want, have complete creative control, and not have to deal with other people's mess haha. The place smelt unfamiliar and lonely when I first arrived, but now it's a homely smell. I didn't expect to grow so attached to my little place, I'll always remember it fondly. The yellow wallpaper (and altogether grannyish decor of an ex old people's home), the view of the park from my kitchen window, the blue hair dye stains I've left in the shower, the secret route I take when I come home after midnight so as not to set the motion sensor lights off...

It's funny, I'd say that after a year at art school, the thing that has changed least is my art. In many ways I feel like a completely different person to who I was last year, but I don't think I've necessarily improved as an artist. Is that bad? I've done cool stuff though, and I've had fun. I got into sculpture which was new for me, other than that I'm still an eccentric collector who likes filling up space and occasionally dabbles in drawing or painting. One of my favourite memories from the course was our end of year exhibition, it was pretty low-key and casual but it felt so special. I got to see a huge variety of work all created by my peers, I met people who I didn't even realise were on my course, it made me feel very proud and also excited for the years to come.

So about my Personal Growth...I'm still a shy person but I'm a million miles away from where I used to be, I'm definitely better at talking to people. I'm more confident. I'm simultaneously more independent and learning to rely on people. Opening up to people more is something I've been actively challenging myself to do. If you've read this blogpost then you'll know I discovered loads about myself with regards to introversion and extroversion. I'm a complete people person, whereas I used to prefer my own company. My favourite thing about this year is that I've made the best friends. Honestly. I can't even. People that I have so much in common with, I can talk about anything with them, and they're so funny, so cool, so talented, I love them I love them! Leading on from that, I guess, I think the most important lesson I've learned is that COMMUNICATION IS KEY! Talking to people is so important, if you have a question then ask, don't be afraid to ask for help, or just chat because you like chatting to people. Make the first move! I've found that people who don't talk to me first, or who make me worry that they don't like me, are usually not mean but they're the shy ones, as shy as me. Sometimes they're the people that are the most similar to me. But you can't find that out unless you talk to them! Communication is key, conversation is very good very nice.

From my first moments in Falmouth it was so clear that God was in control (look @ baby me in this post), there were so many "coincidences". Something amazing and hard to explain happened where almost every new person I met felt familiar to me, looking back I feel like God was helping me to feel at home in a super subtle way. Two of my closest friends I actually met on my first meeting at uni, little did we know that we'd be living together in a year's time! I lived right next door to my church so that was pretty convenient to say the least, and from the first service there I knew it was the right place for me. We sang a song that was really significant for me at the time, it felt like a sign and I took a massive amount of effort to not cry (again). Not gonna lie, there's been ups and downs but everyone has welcomed me with open arms and it doesn't even matter that the majority of my church squad are old enough to be my grandparents. I never expected to feel a part of a church the way I do at home, but I was wrong! My last Sunday before summer involved hugs and tears (can you guess I'm an emotional bean?) as everyone prayed for me and I just felt so blessed to be there. Before I went to uni I didn't really have Christian friends my age so having so many in Falmouth has been amazing, I would have been very lonely during fresher's week if I hadn't had so many Christian Union events to go to. Now a year has gone by and I'm on the CU committee and when I think too much everything is unbelievable! I would  be here until graduation if I wrote about every good thing that God's done during my first year at uni.

I'm already looking forward to going back to Falmouth after the summer, I miss my friends and I miss being able to walk to the beach (right now I'm at home and the only thing stopping me from going to the sea is the thought that I'll have to drive there, maybe tomorrow). It's crazy how quickly time goes, and it seems to only be getting quicker. I'm sO grateful for this year and everything and everyone it's brought me (all documented in 3 1/2 FAT journals for my future reading pleasure). Thinking about all the adventures I got up to with my friends is making me feel all warm and fuzzy...lots of walks, movie nights, sea swimming, rope swinging, singing, a garden cinema viewing of La La Land, a 2am run around a rugby pitch...good times.

I took a selfie on my last walk through the park, the night before I came home. 

Here's a playlist of videos I've made at uni:

Anyway, I don't know why I'm getting so soppy, I haven't left forever. I know I've forgotten stuff but I just have to release this post into the world as it's been ongoing for too long now! So finally, after being in a bit of a music slump, I discovered Alessia Cara yesterday so I'll finish with a sweet song of hers:


  1. this is so happy and positive to read! Thank you for sharing this - i got to uni this september and your advice and general experience has made me feel so calm and less anxious about going and all the implications of living alone and making new friends! Glad it's been great for you - I hope the next few years are just as awesome!!! XXX

    1. Thank you! I'm glad it's helped you! xx

  2. wow, I feel very impressed of how positive has been this experience for you! I remembered my first year living alone, maybe wasn't as cool as yours (because you had met a lot of people and done cool stuff!) but it was special because I felted for the first time what was the real freedom and I started grow up, definitely, the university years are the best!